Sometimes I just feel like I am never going to get anywhere in my life. There is always stress in my life and I lately I have been feeling like I have become less intelligent. I am not getting the grades I once got and I am working just as hard for them as I did when I get my better grades. I don’t see my life getting out of this root anytime soon. I waiting for the day when life won’t feel like I have to make an effort to keep myself moving forward. Right now I just feel like it would be easier to be done with everything, but that’s not me and that’s not how I want to end anything. I have faith. It’s just really hard to see the good in the bad and rough patches sometimes. I hope that for my well being and anyone else who is feeling like this find a spark of good in the end and that all this stress and bad feeling will have a ending that is worth this torture. (I may not have as bad but I still feel weighed down). May life take us on a journey and bring us to a happy ending.
Lying in her bed Lindy thinks of a place where she feels free, a place that is stress free. When she opens her eyes she will just see her arm, imagining herself slitting the skin open as the deep crimson blood flows over it. When was the last time she felt happy? She couldn’t even remember the last time she smiled. Everyday felt like she had a 1000 pound weight on her back. Why did life seem so helpless to her? She needs somebody to save her; she needs a hero.
Lindy was a believer in God but, she had her doubts when life became a battle for her life. She wanted someone who could physically and emotionally be there for her every day, every time she thinks about picking up a knife or a blade. It didn’t help that Lindy wasn’t very social or that her parents had split up a few years ago. Less and less Lindy felt alive. She was starting to become isolated.
So I go out with my friend and we are at a restaurant, our conversation went a little like this:
"I really like this blogger, his name is Omar."-Friend
"Omar? He must be black."-Me
we burst out laughing. She says my name.
"What?! Have you heard of a white guy named Omar?"
Yeah that’s pretty much what our conversations can be like, but we have a great time.
Everyone needs their own teenage fan club
Any attention can feel like a good thing
Dress to impress can be oh so tempting
You can get noticed with your body
Sexual hypnosis by being hottie
You might feel like public property
You might you might, you shouldn’t be
No girl should feel she has to trade
Her body for love or be an old maid
And yes there are guys who are willing to wait
Ask a Barlow girl on her wedding day”
Being sick during school is a huge problem. When it’s toward the end of your high school career and you have to stay home because you’re sick. Well the next day back to school, you just doubled your homework. GREAT! * sarcasm* It may not be so bad if it weren’t for the higher level classes that I take, but there’s the problem right there isn’t it? The teachers don’t care; sure they give you an extra day, maybe, but all that work still ways you down. Guess I better buck up because I am almost positive that college professors won’t give any extra days and missing a day while being sick will be like a death sentence.
Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, however, this is what it can feel like. It’s okay though because when I enter my career, I am going to be very grateful I stuck with doing my work and staying caught up in high school.