One day everything will be okay… right? I know that I can achieve my goals if I work really really hard. But my brain drifts off to those who don’t have to try at anything I have to. Why is it so easy for them and not me? Why do I even care? Because I am human and humans care about what others think no matter how much we tell ourselves we don’t care what others think. Things that I think are “falling apart” everyone else around me say don’t worry about it or just think of the bright side. What bright side is there when I am stuck in the “dark” side if that is what we are calling it. It’s almost like judging someone. Which I don’t even want to start on that.
I do truly hope that some day all my hard work I put into the things I care about will “pay off.”
The new laser tattoo removal is an interesting concept. I do not know much about other tattoo removal methods but from what I have read into it the new laser tattoo removal seems to be the least costly and safer. We are considering that since this is new that it was thoroughly researched and put together. There are side effects but all treatments have side effects. Many people, such as religious and older more “sheltered” people think that getting a tattoo is a disgrace but that is not a reason to get rid of a tattoo. A reason would be that you were drunk and got a stupid and meaningless tattoo. Or you thought you were in love with someone but then they broke your heart and now you are stuck with a tattoo of them. If you want to get a tattoo think about the outcome and what will happen when you get older each year. Laser tattoo removal is very helpful for those kinds of mistakes and affordable but why even waste money to keep doing it? Your skin is precious and you should take care of it. Do not keep getting tattoos and removing them stick with what you have. Unless of course there is a good reason to fix it or have it done. I do not think laser tattoo removal is bad and I do not think that tattoos are bad I just think you should be smart about how you treat your body.
Prom was a very fun experience for me. I thought that It was better than our Homecoming and Winter Follies dances. I danced a lot with my friends and I felt pretty all dressed up. Going to dinner with a group of friends was great, we had the time to actually converse (don’t see them often in school). I defiantly made the right choice in going.
I wish my dad could see what it’s like to be me because he sure does not help make it easy. I hardly ever hear him not yell (whether it’s at the kids or in general or me). I don’t remember the last time he didn’t have a beer. I wish he would understand that if he isn’t careful I will leave and he won’t be seeing much of me. I love him but dad can be too much for me sometimes. We just can’t see eye to eye sometimes. I pray that he changes for the better. He can really bring out the worst in me and I hate that.
I have had these thoughts in my head for a while now. They are taking over how I think. I can’t stand these thoughts in my head anymore, they are all the same. I want them to stop. I don’t want to hurt myself. I don’t want my mind to finally give in. This is the third day in a row that it has been pulling me down. I feel so alone. Like nobody honestly cares or wants to be here with me. Simple words flow through my head injuring my self-esteem. Fat. Ugly. Dumb. You will never have anyone. These are constant thoughts that flow through my head over and over again. Why do I have to be this way? I hate who I am but I like who I am. I hate my physical form.